Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...