well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
