Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Randomize
