Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
