I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
