the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
