All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Randomize
