pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
