he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
