If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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