bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
We have started to decorate penises.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Randomize
