I'd wear matching sweaters with you
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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