two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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