Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
