every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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