She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
