My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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