fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize