she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
