Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
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