So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
