it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Randomize
