WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
