I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
