Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
