Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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