Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
