At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
