I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
