I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
