You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
