Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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