so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
