Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
