Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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