just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Mom said you looked used
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
