hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
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