But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I just threw up on my dentist
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
