Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
