I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
