Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
