It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
