If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Blood and glitter go together right?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
