my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I skipped work to stalk him.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Randomize
