This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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