I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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