ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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