And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
We need to feng shui this bitch.
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