what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
