best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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