it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
