Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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