my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Randomize
