The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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