I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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