I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
