i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
