My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
and you fell through a lawn chair
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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