hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
