you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
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do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
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